Stagnant pool 14 – Mosquito’s gathered for their semi-annual gala at beautiful stagnant pool 14 and had something extra special to celebrate this year, the record breaking number of dengue infections. Actual Dengue infections along with a number of people claiming they had dengue although they just had a low fever hit an all-time high, breaking a record that has stood for over 80 years.

Speaking at the event was Mosquito folk hero Danny “Ankle biting” Jones, who was brought to tears speaking about the accomplishment: “I have never been so proud to be a mosquito, hard work and determination is the reason behind this record, along with the all the open sewage and stagnant pools of course.”

While most celebrated the achievement, the malaria crew was less enthused, “Big deal” said an inebriated Malaria mosquito, “we have the freaking Gates foundation after us, these guys just get the headlines because dengue sounds scary and people have nothing else to talk about”. When asked what the Malaria mosquitoes planned to do to get back into the spotlight he responded “we will try to infect more white people this year, no one cares about Africans anymore.”